The Guardian used to be one of the world’s great newspaper. Fortunately, the UK Constabulary fixed that in 2013, after the old Guardian published the papers of the evil traitor Snowden, who exposed the top secret ways the US spreads freedom and democracy*. The Constabulary smashed the old Guardian computers and explained that, the new and improved Guardian must be a PR arm of the US/UK governments, writing only what the CIA and GCHQ know everyone needs to read.
*Freedom and Democracy – Defn. Strict compliance with the wishes of the US/UK governments. E.g. getting rid of troublesome journalists like Mr Jamal.
Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist 
The Guardian used to be one of the world’s great newspaper. Fortunately, the UK Constabulary fixed that in 2013, after the old Guardian published the papers of the evil traitor Snowden, who exposed the top secret ways the US spreads freedom and democracy*. The Constabulary smashed the old Guardian computers and explained that, the new and improved Guardian must be a PR arm of the US/UK governments, writing only what the CIA and GCHQ know everyone needs to read.
*Freedom and Democracy – Defn. Strict compliance with the wishes of the US/UK governments. E.g. getting rid of troublesome journalists like Mr Jamal.